what happened to parents when children refuse to go to school

Dealing With Schoolhouse Refusal in School-Historic period Children

What to Do When Your Child Won't Go to School

Updated on September 17, 2020

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When a child refuses to become to school, many parents of school-age children wonder what they're doing incorrect, but they are not alone. Estimates indicate that as many every bit xx% of children show signs of school refusal at one time or some other during their school career.

Dealing with school refusal relies on understanding what's behind it and working with a team of professionals to help your child through this tough time.

Why Is Your Child Refusing to Go to School?

Before coming upwards with a definitive plan for dealing with your kid'south school refusal, it's important to get a sense of why your child is refusing to go to school.

The National Social Anxiety Center identifies four main reasons children reject to get to school. Your child may exist refusing to become to school:

1. To get abroad from feeling bad. Your kid is trying to avoid something at schoolhouse that causes anxiety, depression or other feelings of distress.
2. To avoid social interactions or public evaluation. Your child has anxiety in social situations, problem with peer interactions, or is worried near how they will do in testing situations and/or about being called on in class.
3. To become attending . Tantrums, clinginess, and separation anxiety may be a style to become the attention they want.
4. To go some sort of reward exterior of school. This can be as uncomplicated every bit being able to picket TV or play video games while at home.

Your child's school refusal may exist for a combination of these factors, but every bit long every bit it'south being reinforced, the behavior volition continue.

A child'due south behavior isn't only reinforced by reward, information technology's also reinforced by the successful abstention of a stressor.

For example, a child may not want to become to school because they hate riding the motorbus. They may have tantrums in the morning that either makes them miss the bus or lets them stay home. The behavior has been negatively reinforced because the child has successfully avoiding having to ride the bus.

On the other paw, if your child won't go to school because they have separation anxiety, they're beingness positively reinforced by getting to stay habitation and spend time with you lot.

What Should Y'all Practice When Your Child Refuses to Become to School?

1. Talk to your child'south teacher and other school personnel about the problem. Your child's instructor may exist able to provide some insight equally to whether there are things going on at schoolhouse that is contributing to the trouble. They may also exist able to reassure you that despite the morning tantrums and leg-clinging drop-offs, your kid is okay once in the classroom and involved in the routine.
2. Bring your kid to the pediatrician. Many children volition have concrete symptoms as well as emotional ones. It'south important to make certain that these symptoms and the accompanying anxiety or depression aren't related to an illness or have whatever physical cause. Once you tin can rule that out, your child's pediatrician tin can help you decide whether information technology's time to bring a psychologist or advisor on as part of the team.
3. Attempt to stay calm and rational. This is easier said than done—especially when your child's behavior is disrupting the household and causing yous to worry about things similar truancy laws and whether you're going to lose your job if you have to call in ane more twenty-four hours. You demand to maintain the expectation that school is a not-negotiable activity. Engaging in arguments or bribery is not going to solve the underlying problem.

What's the Next Footstep?

One time you've identified a problem, your next steps are to go your child back to school and to seek advisable help for the underlying issue. Treating that problem, whether it'due south anxiety, depression, oppositional defiance disorder or something else, will often require the help of an outside counselor. Getting your kid back to schoolhouse will crave cooperation on the function of the schoolhouse.

The Family unit's Role in Dealing With School Refusal

Once you've established a human relationship with the school and an outside counselor, it's time to look at what yous can do at home to aid get your child dorsum to schoolhouse. Firstly, y'all may accept to reevaluate your priorities.

For instance, if your child won't put on their clothes to go to school, you may need to weigh whether it's more important for them to change out of their pajamas or to be at school. This might hateful sending your child to school in their PJs if it's the simply mode to become them out the door in the morn.

Parents may also need to:

• Establish a behavior contract with your child that provides rewards for attending school and the consequences for not attending.
• Teach your child relaxation techniques like deep breathing and other stress management skills.
• Allow your child to call you and check in at a set up fourth dimension of day.
• Provide your child with a moving picture of you or some other small comfort object.
• Set predictable morning routines.

Working With the Schoolhouse to Create a Plan

There are different approaches to working with your child's school to assist them go dorsum on rails. Here are a few things to consider:

• Ask the school to waive or reduce the corporeality of makeup piece of work your child volition have to do to take hold of up.
• Develop a 504 program if your kid doesn't have learning bug significant enough to qualify for an IEP. A 504 plan deals with accommodations that are necessary when a child has a disability that impacts their education, but not their ability to learn.
• Create a programme for getting your child from the car into the school. If your child is having problems with separation, a teacher may accept to meet you in the parking lot to physically escort your child into the schoolhouse. In other cases, it may be enough to have someone meet you at the door.
• Discuss starting out with a partial twenty-four hour period program. If your child's school refusal is astringent enough, you may need to start with depression expectations. It may be OK to consider a day successful if your child makes it to schoolhouse, even if they don't stay long. Eventually, you can build up, hour by hour, until they are able to exist in that location for longer stretches of fourth dimension.
• If you can't get your child into the classroom, see if they would be willing to sit in the schoolhouse library, lobby, or deli with supervision. Dr. Christopher Kearney, manager of the UNLV Child School Refusal and Anxiety Disorders Clinic, refers to this as setting a baseline. "At least they're getting upward and getting set up to get to school, and it's a lot easier to get them back into the regular classroom from that point."

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Source: https://www.verywellfamily.com/dealing-with-school-refusal-schoolage-children-620852

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